"And this is my grave,
I cannot reach or see you because of my language that i actually dont know but i think i know, and what`s more i`m losing you that`s why i not only curse but also wanna kill myself and break into pieces as i am rubbishy and clumsy. The things which i hold go away from my hands i am not able to grap them while they are running and flying away. There is nothing that i may catch and never give up." says ZIVA and so i often no nooo... i always think over this brain draining considering its excuses. WHY... and HOW...
Now that i write about ZIVA`s words so you can think that i am supposed to go on with ZIVA and brain drain but nooo the virtual subject for today is the literature itself and ,one way or another, its acquisitions but the subjects are ZIVA and his words when you deeply think on it.
THE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESSconsciousnessCONSCIOUSNESS.
Yeah , i am in that bullshit technique, it(?) takes a lot to concentrate on something or to build up my mind. However it takes, it happens and i am not aware of it and the biggest problem is that i am not accustomed to setting them alone or free. Not only did i lose my mind but also i lost my CONSCIOUSNESS, i will no longer work on that or no longer will i work on that. What is this mo`her fucking technique?
Even though i realise that that is not stream of ... . Ok i know i often change my mind, my ideas, this can be a different thing. On the contrary it cannot be changed neither.
I talk and write nonsense and nonsense. These are the two important questions; WHY and HOW. Those guys are the ones which form my life and destroy my inner world. I have never been such a guy who hates everything and think that of being a useless man but here i am and i do exist with all my breath, i am being impatient and poor.
YAGMUR i always try to follow your writings. What a nice sentence you use; the life what you want and the life what is forced to be lived by. It consists of three things HOME for sleeping and sheltering yourself, WIFE for having sex and pleasure yourself and also giving birth for the poor generation of future and MONEY for eating and buying without giving importance the rest.
I dont want such kinda life on my shoulder. I am in need of a girl who cares me and our children with passion and love but of course with loyality i need a girl who wants me to take her to dinner i mean i hate a life which is done for doing it
I THANK YOU MY GOD and I THANK YOU for your mercy and blessing.
I beg for your PARDON i am sorry for forgetting you. what a shame !!!!!
I forgot you. yes i confess. i forgot you.
But now i understand i realize again and again that the real cure is you, i do not need anybody but you.
I WANT YOUR MERCY in the front of those ...