Well ... i do not know what to say but so many things happen around me and the most painful thing is that i cannot do anything to change them. There is nothing to do, actually there are so many things , tasks, duties or missions but which is mine? I cannot be sure what i should do to manage. Everybody says me this is for you, somebody says that my teacher "you are perfect, you can do everything so many of those people ask for your class to attend. However, unfoutunately, although they (students) really want me, the managers suck my blood and knowledge.
The World is unfair; it is very easy to blame on the earth; the lifeless thing but they are the people, human beings make the world like that; cruel, unfair, brutal.
Please dont think that i am complaing about my life but please make empathy and try to understand me. My family gives me their support, they back me but they also expect something from their university graduated and working son yet i cannot back up them. This hurts me so much. \
Actually i dont wanna be a teacher at least in a primary school for not forgetting my second body, my second individual, my second language. I have to work at two jobs for earning good money for myself for my family and for... OF COURSE life life life life but how PLS SOMEBODY says me how i am able to manage a good life ?
I am aware that i am the modern slave of the recent slavery system; capitalism and i can do nothing to change this situation
There are so many exams to hold LGS OSS YDS KPDS UDS KPSS and so on i have a diploma i have degree but i am not paid in the same rate despite the fact that i work hard and i am better than the old, jaded, disregarded teachers.
Anyway i do not wanna write my problems on life anymore, some good things are also happening in my life.
At last friday of the last week of my boring life in that uncertain world, i had my toefl exam, it was not so difficult i mean it is as easy as solving a boring english exam i think if u give necessary importance you can easily pass this fucking exam but i have to add this information about toefl, the reading passages are really hard to solve if you do not know enough words. And now i am waiting a good remark.
Wait a minute guys, this exam marathone has not ended yet because i have UDS exam next week. PLS pray for me and yasemin. I really need a good job for both marrying and providing lifes to me and my family. IS the goverment job good of not enough but it is safe and makes you relax.