Life is so sophisticated

Today is the third Friday of January 2010. I am writing these meaningless things at home, but do not think I am desperate. I have so many hopes deep inside me. I am going to try to express the feelings that have been trying to come out for a long time, this time. I have been working at a private foundation for about six months. I have a nice and relaxed job in Istanbul, but the salary is not enough to build a comfortable life with the girl whom I adore and want to marry. It is also not enough to help my family. However, while I am complaining about this, so many people outside these walls, which shelter me, are struggling to make a living with very little money. This makes me crazy. I want to help people, but I cannot. Anyway, there is no use in writing these things here. I have decided to do something very important in my life. I will go wherever I am needed because every inch of this country belongs to us, and if we do not protect it, GOD DAMN, SHIT WILL HAPPEN. I want to volunteer to go to the southeastern border of Turkey while I am doing my compulsory military service. And if I can, I want to spend the rest of my life there. Everybody is afraid. Everybody hesitates. Everybody locks their minds and mouths. It is too difficult for a nation to have such a territory for a thousand years, but we achieved it, as we always have. If so many people were able to sacrifice themselves for this country, so can we. I am aware that maybe I am writing in vain, but this is all I can do for the time being. Whatever. I want to mention how my days are spent. Every day, I wake up, go to work, have classes, and come back home at 10 p.m. Friday is my day off. Very enjoyable, right?????? I have been reading a book about Abdulhamid II of the Ottoman Empire. I claim that if this man had never been born, we would not have had either Atatürk or Turkey. We owe this country, first to GOD, and second to the Ottoman dynasty (of course, not all of them). I miss having exams. I miss talking with my friends from university. I miss you guys: YASEMİN, EMRAH, MUSTAFA(S), AKİF, MEHMET, TANNUR, YAĞMUR and her group, AHMET(S), ŞEYMA, and ÖMER, despite everything that happened between us. Whatever.