today was a very tiring day for me

Today was a very tiring day for me. Because I went to bed at 5.00 am and I woke up at 11 am. I was not off today so I went to work after 3 o'clock. I had so many stuffs to do!  First i  read the exam that my starter group had then prepared another exam for my other group. It was ok till that time. After that I had to deal wıth so many thıngs on the net. It took at least 5 hours to finish everything. Despıte all attempts I did, I could not complete my registiration then i went to my class for english teaching. All the students were at their seats but one. Iftar was comıng closer and I was reluctant to have a class at Iftar hour. Today our topıcs were "have to, has to, can, cannot, must" and building complex sentences using these. They were almost successful to do it  but they need to practice it; they have to. there are so many important exams like toefl, toeıc and the list goes on with kpds. Kpds is the easiest one. Be sure!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired I need to eat something. Next time i wanna write somethıng on a book about KAFKA.

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come in

I sincerely welcome you yağmur ı have to thank you. THANK YOU

The Family Gathering by Chance

I woke up at 11 a.m. Today, as I was off because of Turkey's National Salvation Festival, I preferred to stay in bed until 1:30 p.m. I was watching something on TV, listening to the radio, and making calls to my friends. In brief, I was wasting time in bed. And then came the eagerly awaited meeting!!!!!!!!! Yasemin came online on MSN, and we chatted for a while. It was not boring, but we had a quarrel because of an irrelevant girl who is a teacher at my school. Anyway, then I heard some sounds coming from outside. It was Batuhan, my nephew. He was shouting, "EMME AMMCCA! EMME AMMCCA!" "Open the door! We came!" The way I was walking was not dark, but I saw it as dark because I wanted to see it as dark. Then I invited them in. Batuhan was struggling with me to go to the market and buy "GUTU ŞAKIŞ," a box of gum, but I took him to the park to play. Then I saw them off to their houses. After they had left, I cleaned the house and washed the dishes. But I realized that I was fed up with cooking, so I decided to go to my cousin's house for iftar. Then I took a very long shower. I think it took two and a half hours. DON'T THINK that I waste too much water. Nooooo, of course noooo. I was relaxing in the bathtub and thinking. It is one of my favourite places for doing this anyway. When the water became colder, I jumped out and dried myself. Then I set off for Kenan's house. When I arrived there, what a surprise! I pushed the button again and again and again, but there was no answer. I tried another relative and then some others, but there was no one. In the meantime, the mosque turned its lights on. This meant that it was iftar time. I was disappointed and was heading back home, but suddenly, a voice—yes, a familiar voice—I heard there: Someone called, "MUAMMER! MUAMMER, COME IN!" OOOOH MY GOD! AM I HEARING SOUNDS FROM HEAVEN? AM I COMING TO YOU? :-))))) It was FUNDA YENGE! Everybody had gathered in one house, so they didn't hear the doorbell. I entered and hurried to eat because I was so thirsty and hungry. I pulled up a chair and started eating. The table was so rich. THANK GOD! I AM VERY GRATEFUL! :-))). Derya Yenge offered us tea while we were talking. My eldest cousin, his wife, their son, and his friend's wife came. Then Yıldıray Abi came. We were eleven people, not including the little children. There were four little kids. We had some conversations about the government's recent policies, democratic rights, and different ethnic groups. We also talked about the latest football matches and the Turkish Army and its power. At the end of the night, everything was over. Everybody went home except me. I left my elder brother's house at about 1:00 a.m. Yıldıray, Kenan, and Mustafa warned me about thieves and sniffers. [Image] Then I was on my way—the way I have been taking since I was twelve—so I was not afraid, but I was alert. I arrived home at 1:39 a.m., and now I am writing these things /???????? Good night, everybody. Good night, my "friends."

Fake Sounds and Dreams

Today Actually, tonight is my first attempt to escape from my jail, the little prison that my family and I have created. I am not happy, and this time I know why!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that I want is to listen to the sound of silence and the smell of the wind. I want to feel hot and cold, but they don't let me do it, and unless I react, they are not going to let me. I was reading my friends' blogs (thanks, Şeyma and Yağmur). Their writings help me understand my own profession. I am not made to be a simple primary school teacher. I reject that. I want to produce and cultivate the seeds of knowledge. Sometimes I think, even when I am at work and having my class, "What am I doing here? Why am I here? Am I in the right place?" I want to leave this place and release my soul, but, but, but ??????? What about the family!!!! What about my father and mother!!!!!!! These two holy and noble people. As time passes, they cannot resist nature and are getting older and older, so they ask so many things of you. It is very difficult to make your dreams come true when you are crushed between your dreams, ideas, and family. But life, however difficult it may be, is not impossible. Yes, I believe in GOD. There He is. God is everywhere, but I believe in the Devil and demons as well. It is a fact that GOD did not create evil, but He created demons, the Devil, and us—the greedy human race. There is no fair sharing. There are so many illegal and unjust things on Earth, so darkness is created by mankind. I don't really know why I am writing these things. Although I want to return to HIM, I don't feel quiet or relaxed here. He is so close to me, but I can't feel Him, and I am nowhere to be found. I sometimes miss My Dear. I search for my cure in her, but in vain. She is not with me in these moments. Unfortunately, she is not. I am an English teacher, and everywhere I work, live, and walk is full of female creatures. I can't be deaf or blind. I have to communicate with them without giving in to any temptation........... Anyway, never mind it. I changed my words. I think I am ambivalent and double-minded, but I know what friendship is. I really know it. Sertab Erener is a very good singer. I don't have particular people or groups that I listen to. I listen to whatever is good for me. These words are very nice: "ASK SENI BULABILIRDE MESAFE KOYABILIRDE ONU SANA KATIYOR DERKEN TUZAKLAR KURABILIRDE." I don't want to write it in English. I don't want to destroy its soul.

THE FIRST ONE

                                           i am just doing some trainings